Monday, 19 September 2011

Things we carry around

Hmmm processing a couple of things that happened today.

First off in a conversation with someone I work for - I was told one of my co-workers (who has financial control and a lot of say over what I get to do) thinks my writing and editing is great but my creative or commercial ideas are "hare brained".

So what does this mean?
I turned it over a bit, processing my resistance and frustration with this individual. And I realise what that person represents to me: a big Stop sign, a creative roadblock, a parent who denies you a treat, a big, fat, creative, NO.

And rather than just being annoyed at that person (been there) I thought about why I was inviting this into my life. Why am I continuing to work with someone who blocks all my ideas? I remember how I got into this situation in the first place - the person I work for, the one I was having the actual discussion with, HIRED ME to change his business, try new things, and, well, have creative ideas.

It's not just me being blocked, it is change and growth in that whole business. Maybe some of my ideas are hare-brained (I don't mind being compared to a hare). Maybe they are just right-brained. But that doesn't make them wrong or less useful.

Another thing that happened - one child I know and one I don't were spitting in each other's faces aggressively in the playground. I didn't hesitate to step in, demand they both apologise, and tell them I was disgusted and I hoped not to see that kind of thing again. (I can be pretty scary, I've been told). So afterwards another parent I know quite well said - "wow, I wouldn't have thought you'd be all strict like that, I thought you were one of those hippy parents."

Interesting food for thought. I probably look like a hippy parent - 99 percent of those there to gather children are well versed in the art of conformity as opposed to self expression. But does being a hippy (if that means non-conformist) mean being OK with violence or abusive behaviour or turning a blind eye? No, I don't think it does. In fact it takes courage both to have a non-standard appearance and to speak up for yourself or others.

So two messages today about how I might be viewed by others. But after checking in with myself, I have a choice about whether to take those comments on board, or even to let them into my space at all. The messages from outside can be pretty strong. I'm remembering to stay true to the messages from inside, guided by my own inner compass.

And the more I think about it, the more it seems I'm right on track.

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